Digital Love
There are all manor of problems with social media. If you click on a particular post, the algorithm that gathers information about you and sends you similar posts at the speed of light. If you hover over an ad for even a second, you might find yourself receiving emails from the company with all kinds of offers created “just for you.” Nothing is exempt. Puppy videos beget dog supplement ads, political ads bring opinion from both sides of the fence and you don’t want to even get into an argument with somebody online. In fact, it’s best to keep all opinions to yourself and be as generic as possible. I can’t count the number of great jokes, comebacks and responses I have let go by the wayside so that I wouldn’t have to engage with someone who wants to give me their opinion.
There are studies that show that too much social media leads to less socialization and therefore to more loneliness. There are young people whose best friend is someone online that they have never met or worse, an AI generated companion. Gone are the days when a stranger in some far away land would reach out via mail or phone asking for your help in getting their fortune tied up at customs released for a percentage paid directly to you. Now, your name, email and phone are the currency of the digital age. You can be held hostage with a simple click of a mouse.
I decided recently to do a digital cleanse because I found myself scrolling through social media as soon as I got up. I’d pulled my phone out during any downtime. Between appointments, watching comedy videos, checking on friends or searching for people that I haven’t seen or heard from in decades. I fell in love with this guy who posts videos of him mowing the lawns at vacant homes or for elderly people who can’t keep up with their yards. I was watching two or three of those videos a day! In the waiting room at the doctor’s office, at a restaurant while I waited for my meal to come, while filling my car up with gas or anytime I had an idle moment, I’d pickup my phone.
They say that a month long digital cleanse staves off dementia by 5-10 years. I’ve taken notice now of all of those people who are me, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling completely oblivious to the world. While I do use social media to promote my books and for business, posting business related things about once a day, it was clear that things had gotten really out of hand, ergo, the cleanse. I will, however, suspend my digital cleanse for one day. My birthday.
Since I first signed up for my first social media account decades ago, my friends and family and even people I have never met have sent birthday wishes to me. I know, I know. It sounds shallow and it is, but every year I gather more and more “friends” or at least acquaintances. Some are people I worked with over the years, some are distant cousins and other family members. Some are people that I thought I could do business with or people that connected with me thinking I could help them through my work. Because my birthday reminder pops up on their social media, people reach out as a courtesy or because they genuinely love me. Some, I’m sure, want to keep me engaged to keep their numbers up, but it’s all okay. Most just wish me happy birthday because they care.
I confess that I love watching the numbers go up. My phone goes off all day. Bing! Bing! Bing! Hey, it’s Jen from Tucson. Look, it’s my cousin in Vegas. Here’s a note from my insurance agent. A prayer from my pastor. A note from the lady we got our puppies from all the way from Malaysia. Bing! Bing! Bing! The hits just keep on coming. There are friends and family that I share a birthday with and even a few famous people. It’s quite nice.
I feel like I need to respond to every one of these people for making the effort to make my day a little brighter. I’ll respond with a brief “Thanks,” or a “Good to hear from you.” All day, the notifications, from long, heartfelt messages to simple heart emojis bring joy to my life and they should be rewarded for the effort. And don’t even get me started on texts from people within my inner circle. I get a couple of greeting cards each year and phone calls from friends and family that bring that personal touch. All of it is love that is welcome and it lasts me all year.
So, thank you one and all for making my 70th year celebration one that is filled with love.
Happy the one who finds a friend, who speaks to attentive ears. Sirach 25:9
Prayer in Thanks for Friends
I am surrounded, Lord, by your grace
You have given to me
friends who love and support me
they listen
often without judgement
always with care and concern
and correct me when I stray from your word
we laugh and cry
and grow old together
we learn from one another
many are the gifts they bring
honesty,
sympathy,
joy
some are lifetime friends
others I have known for a short time
each is cherished
as a gift of your love
with so much turmoil in this world
they are a refuge for me
a place where I am always welcome
respite from an often-difficult journey
keeping loneliness at bay
they give my life meaning
and make me feel that I matter
bless these messengers of your good will
for all of their good works
Amen
Copyright 2026 by Jose Antonio Ponce